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Finding Your True North: A Guide to Discovering Your Individual Values

As a wellness coach, I often emphasize the importance of living a life aligned with our core values. Values act as our internal compass, guiding our decisions, behaviors, and goals. However, many of us go through life without a clear understanding of what truly matters to us. Determining your individual values is a transformative process that can lead to a more authentic, fulfilling life. Here’s how you can embark on this journey of self-discovery.

1. Reflect on Past Experiences

Your past experiences are a treasure trove of insights about your values. Consider moments when you felt truly happy, proud, or fulfilled. Ask yourself:

  • What was happening at that time?

  • Who were you with?

  • What were you doing?

  • Why did you feel this way?

Similarly, reflect on times when you felt upset, angry, or disappointed. These emotions can also highlight when your values were being compromised.

2. Identify What Energizes You

Think about activities or situations that make you feel energized and alive. These are often aligned with your core values. Whether it’s helping others, learning new skills, or creating art, these passions provide clues to what you hold dear.

3. Consider Your Role Models

Role models can reflect the values we admire and aspire to embody. Identify people you look up to and consider what qualities or actions you respect about them. This can help uncover values such as integrity, compassion, or innovation. You can also use jealousy as a tool here. Who's life do you envy and what aspects trigger that emotion?

4. Take a Values Assessment

There are many tools and exercises designed to help you pinpoint your core values. One effective method is to review a list of common values (such as honesty, freedom, family, creativity, etc.) and select the ones that resonate most with you. Narrow this list down to your top five values.

5. Reflect on Your Choices

Examine the decisions you’ve made in your life, big or small. Your choices often reveal your values. For example, choosing a career that allows you to help others may indicate a value of service or compassion. Opting for a flexible work schedule might reflect a value of work-life balance.

6. Meditate and Journal

Taking time for introspection can bring clarity to your values. Meditation allows you to connect with your inner self, while journaling can help articulate your thoughts and feelings. Try prompts like:

  • What does my ideal life look like?

  • What qualities do I want to embody?

  • What legacy do I want to leave?

7. Align with Your Actions

Once you’ve identified your values, it’s essential to align your actions with them. Set goals and make decisions that honor these values. If family is a core value, prioritize spending quality time with loved ones. If health is important, integrate wellness practices into your daily routine.

8. Revisit and Revise

Values can evolve over time as you grow and experience new things. Regularly revisit and reassess your values to ensure they still resonate with you. Life changes, such as becoming a parent or changing careers, can shift what you prioritize.

The Benefits of Living Your Values

Living in alignment with your values has numerous benefits. It brings a sense of purpose and direction, reduces stress and conflict, and enhances overall well-being. When your actions are congruent with your values, you experience greater satisfaction and a deeper sense of authenticity.

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